The Sweetest Thing...

Loneliness and despair always brings me this kind of feeling

where I’m so sensitive to everything that surrounds me.

It drives me insane.

Lyrics of familiar songs become so clear

that I wonder why I haven't understood it before.

Certain smells that I can’t escape

loom around me that it becomes the only scent that would

make me want to breathe…

The taste,

the touch,

the thought,

the longing…

The thought of letting go breaks me…

If only it were that easy to surrender.

Still,

I long for, therefore, I am broken.

07-07-07_1348

07/07/07 happy celebration at cocorama's :)

we celebrated our special day at cocorama :)

view some of our pics :)

Visit my imeem account!!! :)    LoveFeash.imeem.com

What exactly does it mean to be active in church?

Im old school, especially when it comes to my point of view on how 'true' christians are suppose to  carry out  their duties as God's chosen people.
I believe that any activity done for God through church activity is nothing if it did not come out from ones genuine personal relationship with the Lord and love for Him.

I would like to think that no one would disagree with me on that, for that is truly what we all have been taught by Jesus Himself.

But how the times have changed...  its a sad realization that the church is actually changing with the times to keep up with the pace of this young generation and what it wants to hear instead of staying with the pure teachings.  Because no matter how tough and sometimes impossible that teaching might be, it is still God's truth.
And no body today wants to hear the hard truth because it would be impossible for them to go on with their comfortable lives. 

But Although God's truth can never be changed, it should never be compromised for the world either..
Sadly, that fact is evident today as  God promised the land of milk and honey to His chosen people.

Also, hearing some of the christians songs today makes me want to cry sometimes.. because they have become meaningless.. it became this performance with blinding beats and loud rockish tunes with lyrics that simply does not do justice to the one whom it is sung for, to make the supposed 'believer' feel light, happy, and redeemed, instead of focusing on the true reason for those songs... (worshipping and praising God..)

I have many friends who say they are very active in church. All they listen to are christian music... they live, eat, breathe church activities, but it simply does not add up for me.. seeing what kind of life they are leading..

one particular friend says he's a very active christian.  He goes to church probably 2 to 3 times a week, he's the guitarist for the church choir, he practices with them almost everyday and goes to church every sunday with a clean attendance. Never, he would proudly say, did he miss sunday worship at his church...
but not once did i believe, in my mind that, that friend of mine is for real.  I never believed, not for a moment, that he does it for the love of God. I just never believed him as one of God's chosen, because if he did, then we might have somethings in common in terms of spiritual faith and on how we lead our lives.. but the way he leads his is so different..  I tend to confuse myself with the things he says he does and the things I see he does..

It is hypocracy on my part, i admit, for saying all those things and i feel a huge amount of  guilt wash over me whenever this thought came to me, for I myself have a lot of shortcomings, and I don't have any excuse for it.

But I still am trying to make a point, and I haven't quite finished yet...

another friend, who says he's also very active in church told me that he decided to lay low from chruch activities for now because he was burnt out.  He wanted to rest a bit...

burned out?
you dont simply burn out from your personal relationship with God and lay low from you duties and responsibility as God's elect! It makes me wonder whom are you doing it for and why di you even do it in the first place?

Here's how I see it. 

Going to church is God's command.. but each and every one of us has to go for the right reason.. I am not telling anyone to stay away from church activities, it is acutally the most honorable thing to do, for what will Honor God if His children did not go out and pursue their rightous duties to please Him and let Him use them for His great purpose?

Let us not merely just  go out there and believe that our activities in church will erase our guilt for the other things we have neglected to do for God.. Proclaimations of activeness in the church of God is empty if we lack a personal relationship with Him...  NOthing is more important than a personal relationship with the Father, then all things will come into place.. We see other brethrens do all those things to be active in church when they dont even take the time to talk to Him and pray, or to listen to Him and read the bible...
We dont have to drag ourself to tiredness just to justify our longing for a meaningfull deliverance, once we acknowledge what we lack, and built a stable relationship with the Father and Savior, all will be well, though it may not seem like it all the time, still, all will be well, and we will receive a joy that only God can provide...

Read the bible, pray.. read.. pray... Listen to Him and talk to him.. cherish a relationship with Him.. read.. and pray... that is the first and only step.. all else that comes after is an aftermath of the joy that your relationship with the Father brings and your activeness in church will finally fulfill its true meaning...  Now you see, you dont need to push yourself so hard for those things.. If we're going to do it, lets do it for the right reason, let us do it to please our Lord and show Him our obedience,love and devotion by providing for His people.  Have faith, Built a relationship with Him, then be active in His church.

 I assure you, You'll  find that He is all you need..

The other day, Raymond got held up in the office and he actually stayed in until half past twelve..  I got a little paranoid, but still, I knew where he was and that he was telling me the truth because we were in fact chatting while he was in the office at that time..  here’s a pick about how I knew he wasn’t lying hehe

chechesun: tagal p kyo?

chechesun: may tanung ako sayo

chechesun: whats our song

Notice how I tried to manipulate the conversation by asking questions that would prove that He was in fact, my hubby!  Pathetic, I know… but still, a fun game to play lolJ

ongraymondr: sa wakas tapos na

ongraymondr: grabe talaga

ongraymondr: uy anong time ka sleep feash?

ongraymondr: song?

chechesun: yup

chechesun: song

ongraymondr: uwi na feash

ongraymondr: bus na to for sure

ongraymondr: ordinary pa

ongraymondr: :(

chechesun: kaw nalng ba jan?

chechesun: wait, anu muna song natin

He kept on evading my question, which made me doubt him a little bit hehehe

ongraymondr: anong song?

ongraymondr: song ko

ongraymondr: loser

ongraymondr: ah

chechesun: aha! hindi ikaw si raymond no!!!!

ongraymondr: song natin

ongraymondr: syempre everything

ongraymondr: :D

Question number 1:  our song?  Answer: everything by life house…. CORRECT

chechesun: hmm..

Question number 2:

chechesun: sino pinaka ayaw ko na tao

ongraymondr: nyek

ongraymondr: ano ka

ongraymondr: everything by lifehouse

ongraymondr: :D

Answer?

ongraymondr: si …..

…wrong….

ongraymondr: pwede din si …..

perhaps… but wrong again….

ongraymondr: hehe

In an attempt to make me believe that it was him in the other side of the network, he told me the story about his dog again. Hehe

ongraymondr: si pojee inihian yung side ng kama ko a few days ako kaya pinalo ko

ongraymondr: binuhat ng kapatid ko tas pinalo ko

ongraymondr: hehe

chechesun: mali..

ongraymondr: uy alis na ako feash

ongraymondr: si sunico?

Wrong… she is on the list.. but still wrong, you are so wrong….

chechesun: sige bye ingat ka, who ever u are

chechesun: hekhekhke

ongraymondr: nyek

ongraymondr: ako to

Question number two:  The person that I hate most in the world?   Answer:……. And ……. J   Wrong!!!!!

chechesun: last

Last question…

ongraymondr: uwi na ako feash

This was the last draw… I wanted to ask him a question that no one else in the world can answer but us J

chechesun: anu pinaka gusto mong word

ongraymondr: uy

ongraymondr: talk tayo later kung pwede

Answer?

ongraymondr: homerun!

ongraymondr: 10 innings

ongraymondr: hehe

JACKPOT lol J

Correct!!!

chechesun: haha ikaw nga hehe

Hilarious! I couldn’t stop laughing my heart out!

chechesun: okay hintayin kita

ongraymondr: thanks feash

chechesun: kumain ka muna

ongraymondr: talk to u later

chechesun: ingat

ongraymondr: i love you

-end-

Raymond surprised me by having flowers delivered to my office yesterday.. I was so surprised and happy :)  after four years I finally got flowers from him lol :)  Because this is actually the first time that I can bring gifts from him home and show it to my parents :) im sooo happppyyy!!:)

the cutest japanese song.. :) its "perfect star, perfect style" by perfume :)

We had a date last night at krispy kreme's.  We tried it out to see what the fuzz is all about, and quite frankly, we don't get it.... I guess doughnuts are not our thing.. to be honest, we had more fun eating pizza at greenwhich than we did eating doughnuts at krispy kreme's...  I guess its always a matter of preference.

but still, we enjoyed our time together, thus, the pictures! :)